Need to get out of here. Ew EWEW I have become nearly almost everything I H.A.T.E. I NEED AN OPENING. AN END. Get me out pleasssssseeeeeeee plaus pl0x plaz
Is it wrong to use somebody when you're bored? You could always argue that you had no idea what you were doing and you just thought you'd give it a go. The drowsiness from my meds is kicking in, I really hate being sick. On a happier note, I found out that Kara Diowhatsername from American Idol can sing. A-freaking-mazing
No. I. Literally. Am. A. Walking. Contradiction. I think I wouldn't like me if I met myself
My heart is beating uncontrollably I'm so sure it's gonna come, its gonna happen. Something special, something amazing, something so damn beautiful you'd cry. I wait and hesitate and wait and ponder and wait and wonder and wait and then I realize... It is all in my head. Illusions woven together with ridiculous ideas a hopeless romantic could never resist. I think of all the awful things I've done, the horrible person I've been and rationalize that maybe things just don't work out for, well, me. I conclude that good girls don't actually finish last and karma, in the very actual fact, does exist. Amazing. 17 years of my life trying to be a philosopher and its only now I realize that being evil doesn't get me what I want. It merely sets the stage for disillusionment and pretense. A stage built on absolutely nothing other than the lies you fabricate along the way. And one way or another, just like the facade you've created, it all comes crumbling down. It is a surprisingly peaceful feeling, knowing that you've got nowhere to go but up.
I try to start life again, pick up all the bits and pieces and fix them back together like an amusing puzzle. I make my resolutions and try to keep my guard up. But then that moment of resolute determination passes and I find myself waiting in anticipation for the next asshole to come and tear it down. Lovely. But I am trying. And it is the best I can do right now.
